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::The Ultimate Cat::

::Part One::

::Written by Connie Garfalk of Offbeat Cats in Norway::

::Part One:: ::Part Two:: ::Part Three::

Described as a nightmare by some, as the most beautiful of the beautiful by others: The Siamese is not that kind of cat that passes unnoticed. Whether it is about looks, behaviour or the way they ”talk”.

In most cat books you can read about the Siamese that it is a demanding cat. This is one of these understatements that only those of us who has ever known a Siamese can truly appreciate! Everyone that has lived a couple of years together with a Siamese, or two, knows that the Siamese are not ”demanding” cats – they are a bunch of the most arrogant, totally dominating creatures and foul play experts you have ever come across. In addition to the above mentioned, they never give you the chance not to love them, whatever they do to you.

Buy Earplugs!!

Imagine a cat with intensely blue eyes that stares you down whenever you don't do exactly what this cat has ordered you to do. Imagine a cat that wakes up every morning with the attitude: ”A lovely new day! I intend to enjoy every second of it! I will squeeze out whatever excitement there is to squeeze out – so I better get started. One doesn't have more fun than one is able to create for oneself! So hang on everybody, here I come!”

With this kind of focus, you are bound to experience some rather astounding changes in your house and life after a while. Imagine a cat that has an appetite like a horse, a digestion like a goat and the energy like a medium atom bomb. Imagine all this, and you have started to get an idea of what a Siamese is. Yes, they are somewhat demanding. They demand that you listen to them, and they usually talks all the time (almost), and they demand that you respect their point of views. You better learn this immediately: A Siamese is always right. By their own definition, at least, and that is the only definition that counts. For a Siamese.

They demand that you play with them. You may not be aware of this, but you are the funniest toy a Siamese can think of. You are also the funniest play mate, regardless of how many other cats there are in your home. A Siamese cat will usually also demand that you take a nap when it suits your Siamese to take a nap. A Siamese always sleeps best when he/she can lie upon you, close to you, on your arm or on your face.

When you feel you are in danger of becoming totally raving mad, and just have to have a moment for yourself, the real terror begins. The first sign can be so slight you don't notice it; only a small, sad and ”feel so utterly alone and sad”-sound comes from the direction of your Siamese. If you don't listen, and take appropriate action, the volume is turned up a bit, and the tone becomes more imperative: ”Don't you see that I am sitting here without anything particular to do, and that I am bored to death? Come and play with me. Now!” If you still don't listen, and obey, the militant bellow that will follow is not to misunderstand. This is an order. This is why it is a very good advice to everybody who are about to buy their first Siamese, to buy ear plugs at the same time.

The Extra Cat

Someone has called the Siamese ”the extra cat” because this is a cat that is extra everything. The Siamese is extra affectionate, no living creature can love the way a Siamese can. One who has once experienced what it is to be loved by a Siamese, will never forget it.

If a Siamese gets crossed or angry, it gets extra cross and angry. A Siamese is extra demonstrative, extra manipulative, extra scheming, extra active etc. For a Siamese there is no such thing as the golden mean. It is either full throttle, or deep sleep. This in turn means that a Siamese gives you more than you could ever have hoped for, or dreamed of. You will be adored – a Siamese will make you feel that you are the answer to everything this Siamese has ever wanted. Not a bad feeling at all, especially not a glum Monday morning when you have overslept and feel like a total waste. As you stand there brushing your teeth trying to chase that Monday morning breath away, you suddenly feel a gentle Siamese paw tapping your arm, telling you to cheer up, everything is cool. Or maybe the gentle tapping means ”come on, don't you see I'm here? I want to play!” Yes. Well.

When you come home from work, your Siamese is sitting there in the hallway, greeting you as if you should have been gone for a year. At least! That is not a bad feeling, either. Apart from the little tiny prick of bad conscience you sense in the back of your mind, of course: How could I stay away from him/her for so long?

If you manage to cast a critical eye at your Siamese in that precise moment, you will probably notice a big, fat smile on its face. He or she has put you exactly in the mental and emotional position a Siamese wants you to be.


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